Sometimes the way we view life seems to be determined not by what really happens to us, so much as by our perception of what happens. This is sometimes called counterfactual thinking. Let's look at the example of sport. For those who come second in race, their closeness to winning creates an intense feeling of satisfaction, and they need to find an excuse for their 'failure'. Conversely, bronze medalists often feel lucky because they nearly didn't win anything at all. It's the same feeling you get when a traffic leads you to miss a flight. Missing it by an hour is much less frustrating than missing it by just a few minutes.
Another type of counterfactual thinking occurs when we regret doing things that cause problems far more than we regret doing nothing; even though inactivity can lead to just as many problems as unwise actions.
Counterfactual thinking also happens when we think about the past and wish something had or had not happened. This desire can be so powerful that we can even change our own memories of the past, making adjustments to the factual facts to create new memories that suit us better. We do this, for example, when we want to avoid facing up to uncomfortable truths.
If we're not careful, therefore, counterfactual thinking can lead us to rewrite history, and so lose sight of real events altogether.
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